


Severus Snape and the Reincarnated Lily

by MaryElizabethPerkins



Series: Harry Potter if Harry looked like Lily [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Eating Disorders, Female Harry Potter, Multi, Severus Snape Bashing, Snape is a creep, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:42:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27990198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryElizabethPerkins/pseuds/MaryElizabethPerkins
Summary: After many other names, McGonagall called her name out:“Potter, Grace!”When she looked up towards the head table, Snape saw what he thought he would never see again. Lily’s eyes. Lily’s face.Or:An AU where everything is the same except Harry is a girl and looks just like Lily. Follow the thoughts of Severus Snape as he starts to confuse the past and the present.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Lily Evans Potter/Severus Snape, Severus Snape & Original Female Character(s)
Series: Harry Potter if Harry looked like Lily [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2077218
Comments: 25
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

Severus Snape sat at the head table in the great hall. He tried to keep himself from sneering, but anyone who looked at him could see that wasn’t working. Once again, he had been placed next to the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It must have been Dumbledore’s way of reminding him of what he couldn’t have. Not yet. 

Maybe, Snape thought, Dumbledore kept him from the position just to bring him in later. It would be the sort of scheme the headmaster was fond of. Although, maybe Dumbledore didn’t trust him to stay on the light side if allowed near the Defence Against the Dark Arts position.

Anyway, this was a terrible day. Most likely it was the start of seven painful years. The Spawn would be here. She had turned eleven just over a month ago. 

Snape knew. 

The date of her birth had been burned into his mind. That day eleven years, one month and one day ago had marked the day he truly lost the love of his life. 

Lily.

Well, from Lily’s perspective, he supposed their friendship had ended years before that. She stopped talking to him after he started to delve deeper into the dark arts and spend more time with Nott and Avery. He could still remember her face when she found him reading that book on potions that all seemed to require “blood of a virgin”. She was beautiful when she was angry. Of course, he had explained that virgin blood just meant blood that had never been used in a ritual before, but that didn’t seem to help much. If anything, Lily just turned redder. 

An outsider would probably have said that he lost all chance of a relationship with her the day she started dating James Potter. That prat. If the outsider was generous, they might even have said he lost his chance at James’ and Lily’s engagement or at their wedding. 

Snape hadn’t thought so. Even after being accepted as a Death Eater, he still occasionally wrote to Lily, trying to make amends. She had been far too cold to him. He could clearly see that she had changed since she was a little girl, had become stuck in her ways. No matter how much persuasion he used in his letters, no matter the compliments or apologies, she wouldn’t leave the airhead. Lily just wouldn’t understand that they were made for one another.

But Severus Snape was not a man who gave up. 

Until he did. 

The date was August 1st 1980. When he got his copy of The Daily Prophet, he went straight for the family pages. Snape knew Lily and the buffoon where awaiting a child “as the seventh month dies”. Sure enough, there was a picture of his childhood bully, holding what looked like a bundle of blankets with a small, disgruntled face. 

What caught Snape’s attention was the most beautiful woman in the world. 

While the child was busy squirming in their father’s embrace, and the father himself looked down at the baby, and then up towards the camera repeatedly as if to say “look what I achieved”, all while wearing a goofy smile, Lily’s attention was solely on the baby.

She stood behind her husband, who was sitting down on an armchair. It was the first time in years Snape hadn’t been bothered about their closeness. Her expression was that of adoration, and it was fixed only on the baby. 

Not on Potter. 

Not on Snape. 

Severus immediately hated the baby more than he had ever hated James. He knew that though married people sometimes grow apart, a mother like Lily would never cease to love her children. She would die for this baby. Snape recognized it. 

Lily was doomed.

Snape had never seen the Spawn in real life. Well, he had, but it didn’t count. He hadn’t been paying attention to it. His eyes were only on Her. 

On Lily. 

On Lily, who was dead. 

On Lily, who had been killed by the Dark Lord. 

On Lily, who was gone because of him. 

And now it was eleven years, one month and one day after the birth of the Spawn. She would be just like her father. How could she not? Her mother was dead. There was nothing left of Lily in this world, so of course the child would take after the jerk. James Potter was in her genes. 

Not only that, but she had been raised by Petunia. How on earth could a girl like her not be spoiled rotten? Petunia had probably showered her in presents each Christmas and birthday. She would have gotten new, fashionable clothes each month. Family trips must have been abundant. After all, if there was ever something Petunia liked, it was perfection. She already had a house and a husband and a son. What could be better than adding a daughter? Two children, especially one girl and one boy, was the normal thing to have, wasn’t it?

The new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor twitched beside Snape, who broke out of his musings. The wide double doors to the great hall opened, and in came McGonagall followed by the usual bunch of frightened first-year students. He craned his neck, feeling his hair unstick from the back of his collar, and attempted to spot the Spawn. Black, messy hair and brown eyes, tall build, and glasses – that was what he was looking for. The students came closer, and in the middle of the group, right beside a girl with frizzy brown hair and dark skin, stood Lily’s child. 

He almost didn’t see her at first. Her short height, and the fact that she stood by a redheaded boy, made her look like a wayward Weasley who accidentally got onto the Hogwarts Express a few years too early. Merlin knows how many of those had yet to arrive. The girl did indeed have glasses, but her hair was red.

After many other names, McGonagall called her name out: 

“Potter, Grace!” 

When she looked up towards the head table, Snape saw what he thought he would never see again. 

Lily’s eyes. 

Lily’s face.


	2. Chapter 2

Grace’s eyes. Every time he saw them it was Lily looking at him once again. Her hair was the same too. As was the structure of her face. 

Those pesky glasses were a shame. 

They were there on Grace’s face. 

They were glasses. 

The suggestion was too much to bear. Should not her eyes – Lily’s eyes – be good enough to see on their own? 

He thought about telling Dumbledore about it. Dumbledore could probably do something. Of course, Snape knew there was no use in voicing this. He could already hear the headmaster in his head: 

“Well, well, Severus. You know as much as everyone else that some traits are passed down from parent to child. Grace simply inherited bad eyesight from her father. Even if I could change it, I wouldn’t. She has lost too much of her parents already.” 

It was a disgrace. Had Dumbledore just admitted to not helping a child, even if it would benefit her? That’s just typical of manipulative old Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.  
Snape had seen her today in class. When he got to her name on the list, he looked up. 

Lily’s eyes. 

Lily’s eyes were in his classroom, but they weren’t attached to Lily Evans, but to Grace Potter. The girl shrunk back into her seat. 

Well then, maybe time to move on with the list. 

After he finished reading all the names, Snape gave his usual speech. It was all about the distinguished subject of potions and what they could do. Just as usual, he ended by declaring the condition that he would only teach all those things if they weren’t as dumb as his usual students. 

While he gave the speech, he looked about the room. This year there was another batch of pure-blooded kids whose parents were fellow death eaters. The Goyle boy looked just as thick-headed as his father. 

Oh boy. 

The girl with the horrible brown hair – what was her name again? – was sure to become one of those who would write several inches too much on their essays. He’d be up all-night grading if any more of those arrived. 

The most important thing in the room was Lily’s daughter. She looked at him. At any time during his future lessons with her, he could just turn his head, and Lily would be there again. She would be eleven, but Snape could see it was her. 

The girl’s eyes were full of curiosity, and she dutifully made notes during the lesson.

Snape set the students to work on a beginner level potion. It was one of those potions were every mistake immediately made visible changes. In his first year of teaching, he realised that the youngest students needed this type of small catastrophes to take in-

Oh no! 

Longbottom had skipped the step of taking the pot of the fire, directly adding the porcupine quills. Every year there was some type of disaster, but this was worse than normal. The boy was covered in boils and the entire class stood on their stools to avoid the potion on the floor. Even first years usually read the instructions, especially on the first lesson. He had expected them to let their horned slugs bubble for too long, turning the potion into a chunky mess. That was the most common mistake on this potion. 

After sending Longbottom on his way to Madam Pomphrey, Snape looked towards Lily again. She could have been seriously hurt by this. Why hadn’t she stopped Longbottom? She was the most talented potions student in their year, alongside him of course. 

Lily must have been scared to tell them. But why? Lily was brave, she was a Gryffindor after all. 

Longbottom must have threatened her. Something tightened withing Snape, and before his eyes he saw Longbottom in detention, cleaning the slimy insides of jars of used-up potions’ ingredients. Without gloves. 

No. 

Snape would not lose his composure. 

“I warned about foolishness”, he told the class. “Now, stand absolutely still”. With a few flicks of his wand, he emptied all the pots and scrubbed the floor clean. “Until next week, I expect all of you to read chapter one and write 6 to 8 inches on how to correctly follow a potions instruction. Be sure to include the difference between boiling and simmering as well as between cutting and slicing. My expectation for you is that there will be no further accidents like this. Understood?”

The class nodded. 

“Understood?” he repeated, even sterner this time.

“Yes, Professor Snape” came a chorus of squeaky voices.

“Now, take your things and leave.”

The class left. 

He looked after Lily’s daughter as she went out the door. Her uniform looked like a sack on her. Granted, it had never been very smart-looking. The older girls – third year and up – often shortened their skirts. Lily had once told him about it. Apparently, there was two ways and Lily had complained about the hours wasted debating which was better. 

But the uniform fit even worse on this girl. The skirt was long enough on her already, but since the waist was too big, it had slid down a bit, making her appear even shorter. 

It was wrong. 

Lily had been slightly taller than average. At the start of their second year, she had been taller than him. 

Why would she be so short now?


	3. Chapter 3

Every meal, Snape would look at Lily while she ate. She would sit with the newest Weasley among the other first year Gryffindors. The Weasley would stuff his face with whatever was served and as he did so, would talk a mile a minute about quidditch. 

The jerk.

If it was up to Snape, Lily wouldn’t marry a quidditch player this time around. Lily didn’t even like quidditch very much. 

The most concerning part however was the speed at which Lily was eating. She would immediately fill her plate and then inhale the food before sitting awkwardly and look on while the Weasley ate more than his fair share. 

Sometimes she would reach for more food, but if anyone raised their voice or made a sudden movement – even if it had nothing to do with her - she would shrink back into herself and not make another attempt for several days. 

After a few weeks, she and Weasley would be glued to each other and they could often be found deep in conversation, especially at mealtimes. Lily no longer looked on while everyone else ate. Instead, she would participate in conversations. However, sudden movements still made her pause.

One day in late October, Snape asked Lily to stay behind. She looked up at him like a deer in headlights. While the class stood up to leave, the Weasley said something to her and she nodded. 

As soon as the boy left – which took forever in Snape’s opinion – Snape strode over to Lily. 

She stepped back. 

Snape finally had his chance to speak to her privately, an opportunity he hadn’t had in decades. Suddenly, he didn’t know where to begin. What came out in the end was:

“Miss Eva-… Miss P-… Miss, you are underweight. Eat.” 

She looked up at him with wide eyes, mumbled something, and left.

A few days later, he held her back again. For the second time, the Weasley whispered something to Lily before leaving. This time, the students took longer to leave. He had to take away house points from that insufferable Granger as well as that one Indian girl who had a twin and her friend who had a colour last name – was it Gray? – for tardiness while collecting their notes, books and quills.

This time, Snape just held a greasy paper bag towards Lily. 

“You need to eat”, he said.

She said something that ended with “thanks professor” and scurried out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

On the last day of October, someone let a troll into Hogwarts. 

It was obviously Quirrell. 

He was the only new member of staff and he was faking the stammer. Something about him wasn’t as it seemed. Anyone could see that. Quirrell also happened to have ridiculously bad occlumency.

The prefects took the students to the common rooms while the teachers searched for the troll in the dungeons. When they didn’t find any, Snape knew what was up.   
Quirrell was going to try to take the Philosopher’s stone. 

A prevented theft and a leg injury later, he found several of his colleagues standing in the doorway of a girl’s bathroom. Looking inside, they had just caught the love of his life as well as two other first year Gryffindors with a knocked-out troll. 

Lily was clever. 

Of course she would be able to single-handedly take out a mountain troll at age eleven. 

Snape continued to ponder and blocked out most of McGonagall’s speech about not going looking for danger and about house points. While she spoke, Snape compared the two first-year girls before him. Lily was significantly shorter and skinnier. She must not have eaten as he told her.

As the students were sent on their way up to Gryffindor Tower and the teachers went to their own offices, Snape called for a house elf. 

Just as expected, an elf wearing the standard Hogwarts house elf tea towel appeared. Snape told it to make a stew and bring it to the red-headed first year Gryffindor. The elf had to tell her to actually eat it this time. Then Snape sent the elf away.

Lily wouldn’t be starving on his watch!


	5. Chapter 5

Snape had almost gotten through another term of taking care of spoiled brats, and he needed a break. The only student who wasn’t insufferable was Lily.

Oh, he loved her. She was so smart, so talented.

She would just need to eat more and grow a bit older and taller. When she turned 17, he would take her to St Mungos and have them perform the spells so that she wouldn’t need the ugly glasses anymore.

Then she would be just like before.

When he opened the door to his office, he could see that someone had slid a magazine under his door. It was one of those glossy magazines for vapid teen girls, and he was just about to throw it away when the headline caught his attention.

_Witch Weekly, December 9th 1991_

**_Girl Who Lived Assaulted by Teacher – Dumbledore Did Nothing_ **

_By Catherine Taffledurn_

Lily! This couldn’t be true! How horrible.

Snape had to do something about this. 

He read on.

_Grace Potter, the girl famous for surviving the killing curse as a baby in the events that killed the He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, has been continuously harassed by her Potions professor, Severus Snape. In an exclusive interview with Witch Weekly, the Girl Who Lived and her friends tell the tale of Snape’s inappropriate behaviour and how she reported him to the headmaster several times without getting any answers._

He would never!

This was just another of those poorly researched articles that was there solely for gossip.

_Grace Potter has been a student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry since the first of September this year. Ever since the start she felt singled out._

_“I just wanted to be a normal student,” miss Potter said in the interview. “On the first day, most of my teachers would comment on my name when they took attendance. I was grateful towards Professor Snape for not commenting._ ”

See? Nothing wrong here.

_Grace Potter describes how the gratitude quickly disappeared when the professor began to change his behaviour._

_  
_

_“I noticed that he was always looking at me. Then, he started telling me to stay behind after class. I was so scared!”_

_Witch Weekly initially got informed on the story through Grace Potter’s friend, miss Hermione Granger. In a letter to us, she stated how Professor Snape’s treatment of the student’s was greatly biased._

_“He berates everyone for small mistakes, especially Gryffindors, but he lets the Slytherins get away with everything. That bias should be unacceptable to begin with, but older students told us there was no use in reporting, because there would be no consequences. However, since he usually treats us Gryffindors ill, it became apparent that he thought of Grace differently. He never swore at her like he did at us, but he would sometimes just stare. Then he started to speak to her privately after the lesson ended. When Grace came out to us, she told us how he told her to eat more. Sometimes, she would have food with her.”_

So, it was the little know-it-all who was trying to play the role of informer.

Typical of Gryffindors. They would always exaggerate.

_Miss Potter and her friends all speak of the food. Witch weekly asked many students for their testimonies._

_“First it was like, a really gross sandwich. Then it was a pot of something that showed up in our bedroom, and this house elf said that Grace had to eat it. Then more and more stuff showed up until there was new food every day!” – Lavender Brown, Grace Potter’s roommate_

_“Yeah, it was a lot. Grace was really scared of Snape because he always looked at her, so I stood just outside the door and waited. The first few times I heard nothing, but then Snape started speaking louder and louder. Then the dinners and breakfasts and lunches got weird. The house elves would send up notes on plates saying that she needed to eat.“ – Ronald Weasley, fellow student_

There was a whole page filled with small boxes with quotes. Snape skimmed over them since they clearly were untrue.

_Attempting to report Professor Snape’s behaviour to the headmaster, Miss Potter and her friends were told it was nothing to worry about. Grace Potter describes their struggle to be taken seriously:_

_“Hermione told me I needed to report it to the headmaster. She said that it was inappropriate for a teacher to comment on my body and how much I ate and that worried teachers should tell Madam Pomphrey [The Hogwarts healer, the WW editor’s note] and let her handle it. I was unsure, because I had already talked to Hagr- I mean someone about it, and they told me that Dumbledore trusted Snape. After Snape started showing up everywhere with food and notes about eating, Hermione and Ron said it was really weird, so we went to Dumbledore anyways.”_

_Multiple visits to the headmaster later, nothing happened. In her letter to us, Miss Granger states:_

_“The headmaster won’t do anything about it. The issue is affecting Grace negatively since she already had trouble with normal eating habits due to her upbringing, and now they’re getting worse because she doesn’t get any professional help, just comments out of the blue. It is unacceptable to think students are harassed by their teachers and I think the Wizarding Community needs to be aware of what happens even at the best of magical schools.”_

Furious, Snape stormed into the headmaster’s office.

The stupid magazine printed lies!

He would never have done something like that!

Dumbledore was calm. He said something that Snape wouldn’t remember much of afterwards, something with a lot of about “My boy”s and “This will soon blow over, you’ll see”s.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day, Snape woke up with a headache. He guessed it was his own fault for staying up late thinking. It was bad timing, he had been supposed to brew some new pepper-up potion the previous week, but other things got in the way.

He went down to breakfast and slumped down on his chair right as the morning owls swooped down with the mail. Picking up his copy of The Daily Prophet, he noticed the glaring headline:

_**Dumbledore Refuses to Take Action Against Assaults on School Grounds** _

_By Barnaby Apfelstirch_

_Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry faced the press today at the Ministry after an article in Witch Weekly yesterday. The article alleged that underage witches and wizards face harassment on school grounds, by teachers, and that the school administration has declined to act upon it despite being aware._

_“It is all a great misunderstanding, you see,” said Headmaster Dumbledore at the press conference. “Professor Snape has a strict classroom policy on account of how Potions is a potentially dangerous subject to teach. Unfortunately, strictness in teachers is not always something pupils admire. I trust Professor Snape fully and will not listen to any rumours spread by dismayed students.”_

_The Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge, was also present at the press conference. He was clear on the Ministry’s stance on the matter._

_“It is, of course horrible if students face harassment at school, but that is not something that happens. Whoever would bully children? Preposterous! That is not something teachers do.”_

_Later, the Minister added:_

_“And if something really did happen, it would not be the Ministry’s fault. Dumbledore is the one appointing the teachers.”_

_After the conference, this reporter sought out pupils at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for a comment. Cedric Diggory, a fourth year Hufflepuff student said that:_

_“Professor Snape is not fit for teaching, at least not in the earlier years. His teaching style frightens the younger students, and frankly some of the older ones as well. He is unfair when marking assignments, always favouring the Slytherins. I have not personally witnessed him harass Grace Potter, but I believe she and her friends are telling the truth.”_

_So, there you have it, good folks! Dumbledore and the Ministry are covering up consistent abuse of students! We at the Daily Prophet urge all parents to talk to your children about these issues and write to us if you know more about the story._

Snape rubbed his temples as he read. Then, he looked up towards Dumbledore. The man was smiling at him. Snape scowled and gestured towards the newspaper.

Dumbledore looked at the headline.

“It will blow over, Severus. Trust me.”

Snape did not trust Dumbledore.

The papers alleged that he had followed Lily.

That he had harassed her.

That he, by proxy, forced her to eat.

That he had made remarks about her body.

It was ridiculous! He loved her body. The night she died, ten years ago, he held her body for the last time. He had hugged her close, never wanting to let go. He wanted to stay.

Always.

Then, of course, The Spawn had cried, and he had been forced to leave. He didn’t want to be suspected for the murder of the love of his life. Or her husband and child.

For ten years, he had been without his Lily.

Then, she had come back into his life. She was too scrawny, sure, and she still hung out with Gryffindor jerks, but she was the same old Lily.

And now, the papers wanted to take her away.

Dumbledore might be the most powerful man in Wizarding Britain, but Snape did not believe he could squirrel his way, or Snape’s way, out of this one. The last time Dumbledore got Snape out of trouble, it had been at his Death Eater hearings after the war.

It hadn’t been easy, but enough of the seats in the Wizengamot were occupied by Death Eaters who would see it as sin to send one of Voldemort’s followers to Azkaban. They would confuse the rest of the jury, especially those who were hesitant to condemn people based on word of mouth, and the Death Eaters on hearing went free.

This time however, it was their kids on the line. The hesitant voters would rather condemn an alleged predatory teacher than free him. Not even the Death Eaters would be on his side. They had kids too, and contrary to popular belief, those kids resided in all houses. Death Eater parents would not be placated by knowing Snape only targeted those outside of Slytherin.

Snape would be sent to Azkaban.

He would never see Lily again.

He would not see her grow up into the beautiful young woman he knew she would become.

He would never get his second chance at getting the girl.


	7. Chapter 7

The man formerly known as Professor Snape, Potions teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry looked down at the newspaper in his hands.

**_Girl-Who-Lived graduates Hogwarts_** , the headline read.

He had lost track of time long ago, but the paper announced it to be the 16th of June 1998. That meant he had been here for about six and a half years.

His hands shook.

Pictured in black and white was Lily alongside several other young witches and wizards. The text beneath the image said her name was Grace Potter, but they would not fool him.

It was obviously a cover-up.

Whenever Lily was in the paper, a copy would show up in his cell. He suspected it was another inmate who left them.

He had read all the articles about her. Apparently, a few years ago, one of her teachers had followed her around the school, harassing her. It was some git named Professor Severus Snape, damn him to hell. He would not stand for anyone threatening his Lily.

Right now, he couldn’t do anything, but as soon as he managed to escape, he would.

Obviously, if Lily was followed like that, she would have to change her name. She wouldn’t want to be famous and get recognized for something bad that happened when she was so young.

Granted, Grace Potter was a stupid name. He didn’t quite know why but had a feeling it was the worst possible one.

And now, although she wore those stupid glasses, and although she was too short for her age, she had graduated. He felt happy for her, even if he could not share the joy in person.

As he finished the last thought, he felt a chill creeping up behind him.

He heard a rattling breath.

“Focus on Lily. Focus on the happy,” he told himself.

The cold got colder.

The rattling got louder.

He knew he should think of something, but wat was it? A flower?

He sat.

The cold went away. It got quiet.

He sat.

He sat.

He sat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was the final chapter.
> 
> Thanks so much to everyone who has read, commented and left kudos on this story. Sometimes I didn't know how to respond to you, especially those of you who directed your comment to Snape himself, but let me assure you I was delighted by every single one of your thoughts! I never thought the first work I ever published would be such a success! 
> 
> I'm not sure if I'll write more stories in the same universe, although I am tempted to. When I started working on this story, it was supposed to be just about Snape. Then I realised that Snape wouldn't be able to do much if all of the systems around him worked well. So, I had to make the Ministry and the people who run Hogwarts (in this fic just Dumbledore, but let's be real, the school board isn't very good either) corrupt or negligent as well.
> 
> As you can see, there's quite a gap of time in between chapter 6 and 7. If I do write more, I intend to tell the tale of what happened in between, but that wasn't part of Snape's life as he was in prison for most of it.
> 
> Again, thank you so much to everyone who took time out of their busy lives to read my little fic!


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